Thursday, March 25, 2010

Is it just me?

It's been a long week so far. Aus is still reacting to Dad's absence during the week and I don't blame him (so am I). Talking to Dad on the phone he says 'Dad, you gotta come home now, it's too dangerous!' (I did NOT teach him that, nor even say anything remotely like in his hearing!). And he's doing strange, naughty things he wouldn't usually do. Such as getting out of the shower and grabbing handfuls of laundry powder and taking them back in with him. It was just strange because he'd never shown any interest in anything in the laundry at all!
Most of the time he's a happy, loving little boy who brings his little brother toys to play with and wakes me up with 'Mummy, can I get in and cuddle you?'.
Still, 2 kids, a house, a dog and a job all on my own have take a toll and I fear I may have become Monster Mummy!

My SIL saw that I'm pretty much exhausted and offered to have Aus for a sleep over tonight. He was so excited and was asking to go very early this morning. She came and picked him up at about 6pm and all reports are that he's having a wonderful time.
I feel guilty! As soon as he left I felt that I shouldn't have let him go, that as his Mum I should be taking care of him! It's happened before and it's definitely not enough guilt to make me go and get him! :)
It's hard to explain- basically I palmed my kid off so I can sit on my butt and do absolutely nothing at all. And if I didn't feel so guilty about it I could relax and soak up the quiet!

Anyway what I want to know is do any of you Mum's ever feel like this? When you REALLY needed a break, but when you get it, you feel guilty for needing a break at all?!
I know I didn't explain it well but hopefully you got the gist and perhaps can relate?!


willywagtail said...

Maybe your SIL meant to give you a hand but it sounds like your son thinks he's having a holiday so be glad for him.

Calidore said...

Don't feel guilty. All Mum's get overwhelmed at times and a break can do you and the kids lots of good. Let Austin enjoy his time off and you enjoy your break. You SIL obviously wanted him to stay or she wouldn't have offered. It's going to take time for the kids and you to adjust to Daddy being away. Playing up is just their way of making sure that Mum isn't going anywhere. Rest and relax - you deserve it.

Lady Bug Cat said...

Yes, I feel this way too. Abbey some days drives me mad, and I can't wait to palm her off to kinder or her Nanny, then feel guilty.
But then I remind myself that I need time to myself too, I am a person with needs too, and some space to be me and some quiet from the kids is needed some times, and it is OK.
You are a great mum Kris. Don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure the break was good for you both. xox

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